My First Story

My first real story was a screenplay I wrote in 7th grade. My friends and I wanted to make a movie, and we came up with a title - Defy the Line - that we thought would make a great film.

Trouble was, we didn't have a storyline to go with it.  We all wracked our brains trying to come up with something, but there were no ideas, no sparks, no inspiration at all.

Then one night, while I was just hanging out at my grandmother's house, a wonderful idea for the story just materialized in my mind out of nowhere. I was so excited that I started writing that night and finished the first scene.

This was my first experience with the amazing rush of excitement and possibility that comes with sudden inspiration.

I'd had no idea that inspiration could work like that.  I'm sure I'd heard people talk about it before...how you sitting there thinking of something completely pointless and then BAM!  Something beautiful just unfolds in your brain, and you feel the intense creative energy running through you.  You know it's a good idea, and it comes with this craving to get it down, to remember it, to do something worthy of such an idea.  Defy the Line was one of those ideas.

Unfortunately, I never finished writing it.  I tried for a long time, but I loved my idea so much that I couldn't get past the feeling that I wasn't doing it justice, that I simply didn't have the ability to pull it off.  So I finally gave up and pushed it out of my mind.

But it refused to go away.  I thought about it often.  Every now and again, I would find myself itching to try again, but I haven't yet reached a point where I feel like I'm ready.  Still, Defy the Line is a story that’s been in my head for eight years now.

I keep writing in the hopes that one day I will finally be good enough to tell it.

Writing Matters.

http://blog.lettersandlight.org/tagged/my-first-nano

Goings On

So I've given up on this blog twice now, but I'd like to give it a third shot.  I kinda stopped during April because I was so busy writing...you know, my novel.  But maybe I can try to multitask this time.

In April, I started a novel that I eventually named The Window of Impossible Things, and I actually won April's Camp NaNoWriMo, which I didn't honestly think I'd be able to do.  Camp NaNo's July session starts this Monday, and I plan on using the month to finish up this novel and finally begin the much-anticipated editing process.

I really really REALLY like this novel, which is kind of a new experience for me.  Normally when I write, I constantly ask friends or family to read bits of my work or I post pieces on the internet and various things like that.  Basically, I constantly need someone to tell me that they are interested, that what I'm writing is worth finishing.  With this novel, though, I don't want anyone to read it until it's finished.  I really can't wait to finish because I can't wait to share it with people in its entirety.  I don't want them to have a small piece, and I don't need anyone to tell me it's good.  I actually like it and enjoy reading it myself, which is so beautiful and crazy and wonderful to me.  I'm so confident that I will finally finish something, and I'm incredibly excited about it.  I also haven't hit a point throughout this writing process where I believe that everything I'm writing is absolutely horrible and should just be thrown away.  I've felt a certain level of confidence in myself throughout the entire thing, and when I did start to doubt my abilities, I went back and reread some of my writing, and it actually made me feel better.  I'm not used to this.

I really enjoy writing, and I can't wait to get back to it.  I'm a very lazy person, so sometimes, even when I actually want to write, I can't make myself sit down and do it.  Having a deadline over my head will be a nice change.  I'll finally be able to convince myself to sit down and do it.  Especially since my goal is not a word count this time but actual completion.  It'll be a challenge, but it's one that I am eager to begin.

Happy writing,
Victoria

PS: I convinced my brother-in-law to write with me this month, and I'm so happy to see that he's almost as excited about this as I am.  It's going to be an awesome July.

Mess Idea

I've recently acquired a copy of Keri Smith's book Mess.  If you're not familiar with Keri or her works, I will direct you to her website to become acquainted with the type of things she writes: http://www.kerismith.com/

Basically, her books contain challenges/tasks/ideas on each page that you must complete in order to finish the book.  Things like "While in a public place, draw a large circle in full view.  Color it in." and other random things.  This sort of thing might not seem like it encourages creativity or originality, but it actually does.

To give you an idea, here's my copy of Keri's This Is Not A Book:

(His name is Gaius Non Libris.  And I know it might look like it but no, he's not a book.  Hence the title.)

I've been working on my This Is Not A Book for several months now, and it's actually quite fun to go through and find the tasks I would like to complete, especially with my friends.  But with Mess, I might try something different.  Instead of just following the instructions and doing everything in the book by myself, I'm considering trying to turn it into a group project.

My idea is to do a certain number of pages myself, then pass the book onto someone else with these rules:

1.) You must complete (certain number) of tasks in this book.  You may choose which ones, as long as they have not been completed before.
2.) You must include evidence within the book that you completed said tasks (if your task takes place outside of the book, you must at least include pictures of your project).
3.) After completing said number of tasks, you must pass the book on to someone else who has not had the book before, and they must continue the chain.
4.) Once the book is complete, you must mail it back to me (and include my address or something inside the book).

I'm thinking this would be REALLY cool to do.  Then, not only would I have some fun with it, but it would turn into this collaborative thing with a bunch of people I might not even know.  And I could see others' ideas and creative pursuits in following the book's instructions.  It would be super awesome!!

I've been unsure about it for a while, but I'm really starting to think that this might be a good idea.  Also, I agree with the message of the book, and I'd like it to reach as many creative people as possible (in case you're wondering, the overall message is that you should stop worrying so much about being perfect and allow yourself to mess things up sometimes because it frees your creative mind).  It would be kinda like a travelling creative project!

If this does happen, I'll definitely post pictures and updates (whenever I get them) here.

In the words of Mumbo Jumbo: "Hope this works!"

Victoria

Permission to Suck

"I give myself permission to suck.” - Maureen Johnson + John Green on how they write and get over writers block

I'm slowly learning that sometimes you just have to accept being not perfect at something and dare to just do what you can, regardless of what the world thinks.  I'm also learning that it's harder than it sounds, but the rewards are definitely worth it.

I've been attempting to take this advice particularly when writing, because that's definitely something that stands in my way when I'm writing: the fear of imperfection.  This is true whether I'm writing a class paper, a twitter status, or even my stories.  I find myself worrying about the quality of what I'm writing to the point that I can't bring myself to write anything at all, which is a horrible point to reach.  The creative flow slows to a stop, my thinking turns self-critical, and I become disgusted with my lack of ability to even write English coherently much less beautifully or cleverly.

But it's at that point - at midnight the night before my paper is due or midway through a timed writing session - that I tell myself how much none of that matters.  Who cares if my writing is horrid??  As long as I get words from my brain to the paper, the quality doesn't matter in the least.  It's the editing that takes the utter crap I spew out onto the page and makes it (hopefully) worth reading.  And I have to really, really work hard to not edit myself to death while I'm still in the middle of writing the first draft.  It's taking a lot of self control not to edit this very post as I write, and I'm barely managing it.  It's really hard to let myself write things that I know are crap, even if I also know that right after I'm finished writing, I'm just going to turn around and edit most of the crap right out.  But the crap must be written in order that it may be made clean.  I can't fix what doesn't exist.

I know that this particular technique works with writing, but that's a pretty narrow application; most people don't write enough for this to really matter to them.  But it works for other things too, not all of them based solely on creativity.

Some people are shy.  Some people refuse to participate in anything that they think may embarrass them in front of others, be they strangers or friends.  Almost everyone reaches the point where they won't try something for fear of making a fool out of themselves.  It's at that point, the point where you sort of wish you were just a little less self-conscious because that thing you're too nervous to do looks like so much fun, that you need to allow yourself to suck.  Whether it's dancing, singing, playing a game or anything (particularly in public), allow yourself that chance to act a fool.  Stop worrying so much that other people will judge you for how badly you dance/sing/play/perform/etc, and ENJOY your imperfection.  Chances are that 1) you're not the only one sucking at it and 2) most people won't notice or care how bad you are at whatever you're doing.  If you're at a dance, your favorite song comes on, and you really want to go out and dance with your friends, but you're just not really a good dancer and you'll just look dumb and there are just so many people...STOP WORRYING AND DANCE!!!  If you just let go of that fear of imperfection and allow yourself to suck a little bit, you'll most likely have a fantastic time, and it's very likely that no one will even notice or care about your horrible dancing!

I know you're thinking But Victoria, it's really not that easy, and I think you're underestimating how much I really suck at dancing, and that's partly true (though seriously, I'm a very awkward dancer, so PLEASE don't talk to me about how bad you are).  It's not easy, not at all.  But it is actually much easier than you might think, especially the more you practice it.  You have to consciously make the decision to stop worrying, stop self-critiquing, stop thinking too hard about it.  Lower your expectations of yourself.  It is incredibly rare that we as humans find something that we are naturally perfect at without any practice or learning involved.  So why do most of us shy away from doing things that we think we aren't "good at" the first few times we try??  Of course we're not good at it!  We won't even let ourselves do it enough to GET good at it!  For some reason, most people hold unrealistic expectations for their own talents and abilities, and when those expectations aren't met by something, they label themselves as "not good at it" and they move on, avoiding said activity as much as possible, particularly when the thing is in view of or involves other people.  When you really think about it, it doesn't actually make much sense.  We need practice, repetition, and learning to become good at something, but we don't like to practice or repeat things we aren't good at.  Pretty much everyone is guilty of this at some point.  I certainly am.

So that's the sort of thing I try to keep in mind when I start getting self-conscious and nervous about how well I'm doing things.  Sucking is an important part of being human and learning new things, and when you stop worrying so much and actually allow yourself to suck, you often enjoy yourself much more than when you sit out and remain suck-less.  I think it's a valuable lesson that everyone can take to heart in some way.  So next time someone asks you to do something fun and your self-consciousness kicks in, instead of making the excuse "No thanks, I'm not good at that," why not swallow your pride, take a risk, and show off how badly you suck??  Who knows??  You might actually enjoy it.

Behind and Panicking

...well, a little.

Currently, I've written 6,520 words for my novel.  I've maneuvered my way past the Inciting Incident (an excerpt of which can be seen in my last post), and now I'm trying hard not sprint toward the First Act Turn too quickly (leaving the bits in between riddled with plot holes and lack of storytelling).  Luckily, I've gotten most of my structure for the first half planned out decently well...or at least enough that I basically know what's coming next.  I decided to use the three act structure to plan out my story, and it's working so far.

I'm starting to get a little nervous because of how behind I am on my word count.  To stay on the right track, my graph says I should be at about 13,300 words.  I'm barely reaching the halfway point, and I have no idea how much I'll write today.  I like to think I'll get at least a thousand words done, but with a history of jazz quiz and Quidditch practice (not the mention the distractions of my friends and the internet), there's just no telling.

Luckily, I've finally reached a part that I'm excited to write.  I get to tell a bit of history and backstory, and I'm very excited.  The bad thing about getting to this part I've been looking forward to is that now I don't know how to write it in the way that I would like.  Since it's something I like, I want to write it well, so it's been difficult for me to start.  I tried to write it in class yesterday, but I just kept scratching out and rewriting because the words just wouldn't come out right.

Shannon and I went to our first NaNoWriMo wWrite-In on Tuesday night, which was awesome!  We met some really cool people and had a fun time discussing the oddest things while all trying to give our word counts a little boost.  It was also kinda cool because we were writing and hanging out while watching the presidential election results roll in, though that surprisingly took up little of our conversation.  We had a great time, and I hope to attend as many of the others as I can.

Well, I suppose I should stop procrastination and get back to either writing or homework.  I can't tell anymore if I'm procrastinating homework by writing or procrastinating writing by doing homework...or perhaps I'm procrastinating both of them by spending way too much time surfing the web.  Such is life.

Happy writing!

Victoria

Excerpt

"Okay, Ms. Maryanne, what seems to be-" She broke off.  Ms. Maryanne was not in the room.  Louise set the tray down and checked the few other rooms on the first floor, calling her name.  Then she opened the front door and stepped outside to see if the lady had gone back home.  Stepping back inside the house, she heard a thump and a screech coming from above.  She rushed up the stairs as fast as she could to the attic.  The door was shut and locked from the inside.  Louise tried to force the door open to no avail.  She stood helplessly on the landing trying to figure out what to do when she heard a deafening crash from the other side of the door.

"Lily?" she called, frantic.  "Lily!  Open the door!  Ms. Maryanne, are you in there?  Someone open this door now!"

The only response from the room was another floor-shaking crash.  Louise finally stepped back, squared her shoulders, and kicked at the door as hard as she could.  The door smashed open, and as she hurried into the room, she was met with a shocking sight.

Ms. Maryanne was standing in front of the Looking Glass; her expression was dark, and her eyes held a glint of madness.  Louise's eyes were drawn in horror to the Looking Glass where someone had smashed  it right in the center.  She looked back at Maryanne to see her gripping the smoothing tool in both hands. 

"Ms. Maryanne?" Louise asked, confused.  "What are you doing?"  She took a step forward just as the woman, with surprising strength, slammed the tool into the already-cracking mirror.  Since the Portal was still on low, the tool stuck a little in the transfer field.  Louise ran forward to stop the woman, but before she could take more than a few steps, there was a crackling and a giant flash of light from the crack in the mirror.  By this strange light, Louise for a moment thought she saw  the laughing form of Ms. Maryanne change into a smaller, straighter form in her reflection in the mirror.

Louise's attention was pulled from Ms. Maryanne to the crack in the Portal, which was powering up again.  The Glass smoothed itself, but instead of a view of Mirora, the image of the most extraordinary creature Louise had ever seen appeared in the Glass.  The monstrous creature straightened itself from its crouched position where it appeared to have been sleeping.  It began to writhe as it worked its way out of the Glass, and finally, a large, clawed foot emerged from the split, followed by the rest of its body.  The beast was long, rather skinny, and it walked on three legs.  It had a long, curving tail that ended in a tuft of hair.  Its skin was scaly and black and covered in many places with thin feathers of every color.  Ten-fingered hands curled out from long, thin arms.  It had long curving nails stretching from each finger, and its wrists were covered in fur.  Its face was thin and gaunt with a long snout; it had two rows of razor sharp teeth and a small beard.  Its eyes were almond-shaped and widely spaced.  Louise thought she detected a hint of madness in those blank and sinister eyes.  On its back, the creature had four giant, leather wings with edges rimmed in multicolored feathers.

Her fear and horror kept Louise rooted to the spot.  She'd never seen anything like this creature before.  It roared, rattling the walls and the ceiling, then whipped its tail around the room, smashing everything in its wake.  It clipped Louise on the shoulder, sending her flying across the room and onto an overturned chair.  Louise heard the creature give a bone-chilling laugh, and it spoke in a voice like nails on a chalkboard.

"I am the Ssssnark…" the creature hissed, "and at lasssst, I...am...FREE!"  It roared the last word and smashed a hole in the wall.  It then launched itself through the hole and into the air, twisting and turning in the sky until it disappeared amidst the billowy clouds, laughing manically.

The Challenge

I've always wanted to write a novel.  I absolutely adore reading, and that has naturally led me to try my hand at writing as well, though so far I've met with little success.  I've started one or two stories, but I always wind up getting severe writer's block.  Next thing I know, I'm on Pinterest or watching Ponies on Netflix.

I've discovered what I hope will be a solution to my problem: NaNoWriMo.  I've just recently learned that November is National Novel Writing Month and that there is an entire organization out there devoted to helping writers (like myself) write that novel they've been dreaming of.  How?  By challenging writers to write 50,000 words in the month of November.  30 days, 50,000 words, one novel in one month.  The website (nanowrimo.org) sets up a word counter and everything for authors to keep track of their progress towards the 50,000 word goal.  People from all over the world participate in this every year, and this year, I am too!

There are several rules involved:
1.) You cannot use any prose you've written before November.  November 1st should be the actual start of your writing.  You can use any notes and planning from before, but the writing part has to start on November 1st at the earliest.
2.) You also have to reach 50,000 words by midnight on November 30th.  It doesn't need to be edited or anything, it just needs to be actually written.  Submit your novel to the word-counting judges, and you can be a NaNoWriMo winner!
It's basically as simple as that!  I mean, it can't be one word repeated 50,000 times or anything like that, but I figure that sort of thing is glaringly obvious.  There's no judgement on quality or anything more than the word count, which leaves the author free to do whatever they want with their novel!

I started late on Day 3, so I'm rather behind on my word count right now, but I'm confident I can catch up.  I've never been so excited and confident about writing!  The different areas even hold write-ins for local Wrimos to all hang out and write together!  They'll be holding a few at my university, and I certainly plan on attending!  I've even got my best friend involved, and we're sort of having a word war between ourselves :).

I started writing just yesterday, and NaNoWriMo says we authors should be aiming for about 6,667 words by midnight tonight.  So far, in two days, I have 3,468 words, which I like to think is pretty good.  I wouldn't allow myself to stop until I reached the halfway mark for where I'm supposed to be.

My story is a unique take on certain aspects of Lewis Carroll's Wonderland that I'm calling (for now) Curious Nonsense.  That's definitely just a working title, since I don't think it fits my story at all.  I might post a couple excerpts every now and then, though I don't want to spoil anything ;).

I'll start off by giving the logline (a 10-second summary) of my story:
"When a disastrous accident threatens the imminent collapse of two worlds, the woman responsible must race a power-hungry maniac to recapture the only creature that can restore balance."

I've got most of the story arc planned out as I would like it, which is more than I can say for most of my other attempts at writing.  I think I rather like the pressure that comes with this challenge :).  I guess that's not surprising since I'm definitely a write-a-paper-the-night-before kinda girl.

Well, I suppose that's it for introductions!  My next post will probably be an excerpt from my 3,468 words so far.  I sure hope I can complete this thing and win!

Good luck to all the other Wrimos out there!

~Victoria