Now that's an idea...

I finally managed to get past my writer's block, but I am gradually realizing that inspiration comes at a price.  I know a way to make my story more interesting, more dynamic...but it requires a TON of rewrite...and possibly the loss of my story I was working on in November, Curious Nonsense, aka Mirora.

It has just occurred to me that taking bits and ideas from Mirora would really benefit this story.  I would have to use the entire main idea behind Mirora, which would destroy and derail that story completely.  I'm not going to lie and say that this is a difficult choice; I'd all but decided not to finish Mirora already, so killing it won't be that big of a deal.  No, it's what it will do to The Window of Impossible Things that I'm worried about.  I love this story, I love my original idea for it, and I'm scared to change so much about what it is.  Some might call this the natural evolution of my story, but I can't help seeing it slightly differently.

If I change this about Window, I'm terrified I'll start to lose what I like so much about this story.  I'm scared it'll be too much.  I don't know if I have the patience or energy to completely rewrite so much of Window, so I'm scared of how much this new/old idea will change it.  I don't want to let this one go.  I don't want it to sit unfinished on my computer and notebook for the next five years like the other stories I've started and never finished.  It's a scary thought.  I'm scared to take this chance that I'll change it too much.  I don't want the story to lose its identity, and I certainly don't want to start all over again.

Contrariwise, however, this new idea excites me.  I'm madly curious to see where this could take Anya, and how it will change where she's been.  I like her, and I'm anxious to put her in the type of story and situations her character deserves.  She deserves more than what I'm giving her at the moment, and the blockage has stemmed from my sudden realization of the fact that I've left her in an impossible situation.  I left her a plot that she didn't care about and that she couldn't fix even if she did care, and I could tell it wasn't going to work.  I think Anya will blossom much more beautifully in this new story direction.

But what of her writer?

Will I be able to pull it off?  I don't have a lot of confidence in my patience and persistence.  They've let me down so many times that I don't know whether to trust myself to really finish this story.  I really want to.  But I'm really good at convincing myself that I don't want things that will cause me too much trouble.  And I don't want to convince myself that this story isn't worth it, because I know that it is.

I'm sure I'm not the first person to have this sort of problem, and I doubt I'll be the last.  I suppose the only thing I can do is trust my excitement, trust my instinct that this will be really awesome, something for me to stay excited about.

I hope I'm making the right decision.

Victoria

And so it begins!

Once again, we've reached the beginning of Camp NaNoWriMo.  Tyler (my brother-in-law who is also participating) and I stayed up till midnight so that we could get a head start, and both of us have reached out daily word count goal before the sun is even up, so that's pretty cool.  I'm simply continuing The Window of Impossible Things, and he's starting a new story.  It's been really fun having a writing buddy who was actually...you know...writing with me.  We've been swapping quotes and concepts back and forth, bouncing ideas off each other for inspiration.

It's been a while since I've really written anything, and I stopped on a rather difficult part of the novel.  I wasn't sure where to go from there, so I was worried that getting back into the swing of writing would take quite a while.  And yes, tumblr and Penny Arcade did distract me for a while, but I'm excited that the words flowed as quickly as they did.  I'm writing the second act turn, the rallying point for my MC to rise up after her Dark Night of the Soul and realize that she actually can accomplish her goal.  It's going rather well, though I'm not quite sure how I feel about what I've just written.  It's alright, but I think it needs a bit more.  I'll probably fix that later.  Note to self: August is for editing!

I'm really excited that Tyler is participating this month.  I always bug people to do NaNo, and though several of my friends and even my husband have previously agreed, it hasn't had nearly the effect on them as it has had on me.  It didn't help them write more, and it didn't make them more excited about writing.  Tyler seems to be different, though.  He's been saying for days how anxious he is to get writing, and he seems legitimately excited to write, which is good.  That's how I always feel, so it's finally nice to share the experience with someone who feels similarly to me about it.

I think this is going to be an interesting month.  I just hope I can finally finish my novel.  It will just make my year if I can finish the first draft of this thing and start editing and whatnot.  I'm anxious to finish everything and finally allow someone else to read it.  I'm really only working with my own opinion here, and that's unusual for me.

It's late, I'm tired, and I have more writing to do later today, so goodnight and happy writing!

Victoria

PS: 1251

Goings On

So I've given up on this blog twice now, but I'd like to give it a third shot.  I kinda stopped during April because I was so busy writing...you know, my novel.  But maybe I can try to multitask this time.

In April, I started a novel that I eventually named The Window of Impossible Things, and I actually won April's Camp NaNoWriMo, which I didn't honestly think I'd be able to do.  Camp NaNo's July session starts this Monday, and I plan on using the month to finish up this novel and finally begin the much-anticipated editing process.

I really really REALLY like this novel, which is kind of a new experience for me.  Normally when I write, I constantly ask friends or family to read bits of my work or I post pieces on the internet and various things like that.  Basically, I constantly need someone to tell me that they are interested, that what I'm writing is worth finishing.  With this novel, though, I don't want anyone to read it until it's finished.  I really can't wait to finish because I can't wait to share it with people in its entirety.  I don't want them to have a small piece, and I don't need anyone to tell me it's good.  I actually like it and enjoy reading it myself, which is so beautiful and crazy and wonderful to me.  I'm so confident that I will finally finish something, and I'm incredibly excited about it.  I also haven't hit a point throughout this writing process where I believe that everything I'm writing is absolutely horrible and should just be thrown away.  I've felt a certain level of confidence in myself throughout the entire thing, and when I did start to doubt my abilities, I went back and reread some of my writing, and it actually made me feel better.  I'm not used to this.

I really enjoy writing, and I can't wait to get back to it.  I'm a very lazy person, so sometimes, even when I actually want to write, I can't make myself sit down and do it.  Having a deadline over my head will be a nice change.  I'll finally be able to convince myself to sit down and do it.  Especially since my goal is not a word count this time but actual completion.  It'll be a challenge, but it's one that I am eager to begin.

Happy writing,
Victoria

PS: I convinced my brother-in-law to write with me this month, and I'm so happy to see that he's almost as excited about this as I am.  It's going to be an awesome July.