"I give myself permission to suck.” - Maureen Johnson + John Green on how they write and get over writers block
I'm slowly learning that sometimes you just have to accept being not perfect at something and dare to just do what you can, regardless of what the world thinks. I'm also learning that it's harder than it sounds, but the rewards are definitely worth it.
I've been attempting to take this advice particularly when writing, because that's definitely something that stands in my way when I'm writing: the fear of imperfection. This is true whether I'm writing a class paper, a twitter status, or even my stories. I find myself worrying about the quality of what I'm writing to the point that I can't bring myself to write anything at all, which is a horrible point to reach. The creative flow slows to a stop, my thinking turns self-critical, and I become disgusted with my lack of ability to even write English coherently much less beautifully or cleverly.
But it's at that point - at midnight the night before my paper is due or midway through a timed writing session - that I tell myself how much none of that matters. Who cares if my writing is horrid?? As long as I get words from my brain to the paper, the quality doesn't matter in the least. It's the editing that takes the utter crap I spew out onto the page and makes it (hopefully) worth reading. And I have to really, really work hard to not edit myself to death while I'm still in the middle of writing the first draft. It's taking a lot of self control not to edit this very post as I write, and I'm barely managing it. It's really hard to let myself write things that I know are crap, even if I also know that right after I'm finished writing, I'm just going to turn around and edit most of the crap right out. But the crap must be written in order that it may be made clean. I can't fix what doesn't exist.
I know that this particular technique works with writing, but that's a pretty narrow application; most people don't write enough for this to really matter to them. But it works for other things too, not all of them based solely on creativity.
Some people are shy. Some people refuse to participate in anything that they think may embarrass them in front of others, be they strangers or friends. Almost everyone reaches the point where they won't try something for fear of making a fool out of themselves. It's at that point, the point where you sort of wish you were just a little less self-conscious because that thing you're too nervous to do looks like so much fun, that you need to allow yourself to suck. Whether it's dancing, singing, playing a game or anything (particularly in public), allow yourself that chance to act a fool. Stop worrying so much that other people will judge you for how badly you dance/sing/play/perform/etc, and ENJOY your imperfection. Chances are that 1) you're not the only one sucking at it and 2) most people won't notice or care how bad you are at whatever you're doing. If you're at a dance, your favorite song comes on, and you really want to go out and dance with your friends, but you're just not really a good dancer and you'll just look dumb and there are just so many people...STOP WORRYING AND DANCE!!! If you just let go of that fear of imperfection and allow yourself to suck a little bit, you'll most likely have a fantastic time, and it's very likely that no one will even notice or care about your horrible dancing!
I know you're thinking But Victoria, it's really not that easy, and I think you're underestimating how much I really suck at dancing, and that's partly true (though seriously, I'm a very awkward dancer, so PLEASE don't talk to me about how bad you are). It's not easy, not at all. But it is actually much easier than you might think, especially the more you practice it. You have to consciously make the decision to stop worrying, stop self-critiquing, stop thinking too hard about it. Lower your expectations of yourself. It is incredibly rare that we as humans find something that we are naturally perfect at without any practice or learning involved. So why do most of us shy away from doing things that we think we aren't "good at" the first few times we try?? Of course we're not good at it! We won't even let ourselves do it enough to GET good at it! For some reason, most people hold unrealistic expectations for their own talents and abilities, and when those expectations aren't met by something, they label themselves as "not good at it" and they move on, avoiding said activity as much as possible, particularly when the thing is in view of or involves other people. When you really think about it, it doesn't actually make much sense. We need practice, repetition, and learning to become good at something, but we don't like to practice or repeat things we aren't good at. Pretty much everyone is guilty of this at some point. I certainly am.
So that's the sort of thing I try to keep in mind when I start getting self-conscious and nervous about how well I'm doing things. Sucking is an important part of being human and learning new things, and when you stop worrying so much and actually allow yourself to suck, you often enjoy yourself much more than when you sit out and remain suck-less. I think it's a valuable lesson that everyone can take to heart in some way. So next time someone asks you to do something fun and your self-consciousness kicks in, instead of making the excuse "No thanks, I'm not good at that," why not swallow your pride, take a risk, and show off how badly you suck?? Who knows?? You might actually enjoy it.
